Have you heard of the book The Four Agreements? The Four Agreements by Ruiz are mighty rules we can employ to sustain our lives, strengthen our bonds with others, and increase our happiness and healthiness.

The following are Ruiz's The Four Agreements.

The First Agreement: Always be Impeccable With Your Word.

This should mean steering clear of rumors, untruths, blank vows and other ways we bring about issues with our remarks. Convey only what you intend, and be aware that you can create hurt if you're not prudent with what you state.

This is a wonderful instruction. A great number of individuals don't understand the potential of their remarks and see the destruction that can be caused with speaking carelessly, thoughtlessly or forcefully. Most people are cognizant that shouting at a person may be embarrassing to them, but subtle little digs at them, or gossip behind their backs, can adversely affect other individuals more than we realize, and in damaging them, we distress our very selves.

The Second Agreement: Don't Take Anything Personally.

This 'agreement' is all about understanding how other people's attitudes are a reflection of them only. Each time somebody gives us opinions about us, it's vital to take into account that no comments are truly objective; we all possess our biases, 'filters' through which we see the entire world, and the like. For this, we should never take anyone else's feedback of us or our acts as totally accurate; whenever somebody states a certain thing about us (or anything else), they're actually saying a thing about their very selves and how they look at the world.

This is useful advice for making us feel better, but take it with a grain of salt. Although every person has their biases and there is no such thing as full objectivity, by never taking whatever thing personally, people can actually limit their capability to recognize their own negative patterns and biased thinking, and work on building more healthy patterns and clear-sighted thoughts.

The Third Agreement: Don't Make Assumptions.

A large amount of stress is generated when people assume they can read what other persons are having in mind without verifying with them. Understanding that other individuals might have dissimilar motivations for their actions, even significantly varying world perceptions, and bearing in mind to really try to understand other individuals and examine these motivations before moving to conclusions concerning their behavior, can go a long way toward preventing interpersonal conflict.

Nevertheless, taking this guideline to an extreme may cause people to disregard their intuition on people, or common sense concerning a person's behavior that's damaging. It can also open people up to manipulation once they instruct themselves to believe a person's explanation of negative behavior rather than judging the behavior on its own. (For example, not 'assuming' they're being cheated on if their husband or wife is demonstrating erratic behavior and the common hints of unfaithfulness, but strongly denies wrongdoing.) This one is a great suggestion, but should be tempered by inner wisdom and common sense.

The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best.

By this, Ruiz means to give the best you can at any given situation, and you'll have no regrets. On certain days, your best will not be as great as other days, and that is okay. As long as you put honest effort into life, you will not have anything to be ashamed of, and will never 'beat yourself up' over a less-than-stellar performance in retrospect.

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